DISASTER in JAPAN

The disaster in Japan has been on my mind ever since last Friday morning. I woke up to the phone ringing – my daughter telling me about the earthquake. She and I both used to live in Japan and now she and her Japanese husband live in Calgary.

As I heard the news, I ran and turned on the TV. I also checked Facebook frequently throughout the day to keep up with people I know in Japan. Even though I lived south of Nagoya, I know three people who live in or near Tokyo. And one of my former students has family in Saitama. Naturally I was concerned about them. I have heard from all of them and they are safe.

One of them told me that she had to stay in her office in Tokyo until midnight that day because there were no trains and no cell phone coverage. They were told to stay where they were. Since then she’s told me that when she goes shopping for food, the shelves are empty. You’ve probably seen that on the news – people are stocking up in case they are affected by a quake in their area.

In September of 2005 I experienced a 6.8 earthquake. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was living with a Japanese family in a condo on the 10th floor of a high-rise. Around 11 p.m. I was sitting at the dining room table when I started to feel some shaking. I hollered to Hatsumi who was brushing her teeth and hadn’t noticed yet. She yelled at Aki and we all dove under the table. Aki managed to grab their six-year old. I asked about the twins, but they were in the bottom of a bunk bed so they would be safe. As we sat under the table hanging onto each other, the building began to sway. I have never been so scared in my life! I’ve never felt so helpless! I wondered what would happen. After what seemed like forever (perhaps 45 seconds), the swaying stopped. I was amazed that no furniture had fallen over – just some things had fallen off shelves.

The next week in my conversation classes, guess what the topic was! It was interesting to hear about everyone’s experience on Sunday evening. That week, people promptly went shopping to prepare their emergency kits, in case it happened again. (Isn’t that what we do – after the computer crashes, we want to back up?) There were aftershocks, and by Wednesday I was no longer afraid. I remember one evening when we got an aftershock, I stood by the balcony doors because I wanted to watch the other buildings sway – but it didn’t get to that point.

What is my point in this story? I’m not sure I have one. I just wanted to talk about it. I am tied to Japan and forever will be. I’m saddened by the tragedies they are facing. One thing I’ve noticed when watching the news is that people there are hugging each other. They are a people who don’t touch each other – especially in public! They don’t shake hands, they bow. When meeting each other after a time apart, they wave or bow. One time I was at the airport waiting to pick up my daughter; I watched as a mother waited for the return of her daughter. When the daughter arrived with her suitcase in tow, the mother was so elated to see her she burst into tears, and then touched the suitcase as they walked away. It is nice to see that some of them feel free to display their love for each other now, after such a devastating disaster.

Another interesting observation: news reporters are commenting on the calmness and orderliness of the people there, despite the panic. The philosophy of the Japanese people, which is taught in to children at an early age, is that society comes first. They are taught to think of others. (How refreshing is that!) Is that why we see people risking their lives? Is that why there is no looting? Is that why no one got trampled as they left the buildings?

Enough of my ramblings. I wonder what observations you have made this last week. What are you learning about yourself? I’ve been extra thankful that I live in Calgary, and when I start to complain about the snow and the cold, I remind myself that they are not life-threatening and we really have nothing to complain or worry about. I am thankful. ...and I continually pray for Japan and the people who are affected – and that is every single person living there.

What are your thoughts when you watch the news?

DECISIONS VS NON-DECISIONS

Indecision becomes decision with time. ~Author Unknown

Last Saturday I was helping a group of women to create a compelling future for themselves. A comment one of the women made really had an impact on me. It shouldn’t have, but sometimes we have moments when we hear things that we’ve heard or experienced before, and it’s like hearing it for the first time!

I asked the women to think back to what their lives were like five years ago. Then I posed the following: Notice what decisions you made five years ago that contributed to where you are now. As some of them shared, one woman told the group that because of her ‘non-decisions’ five years ago, she was at the exact same spot in life she was back then.

I’ve thought about her statement a lot since then. I thought about the ‘non-decisions’ I’ve made in the past that kept me from moving forward. I loved the way she said ‘non-decisions’. When we don’t make a decision, we’re actually making one – and it’s not always positive!

When I think back to five years ago, I was in a huge transition in my life, and I made some good decisions. Two years later I was thoroughly enjoying my life when suddenly someone else made a huge decision that impacted my future tremendously. It was time to make more decisions. I struggled with the next step. I’d dreamed about owning my own business for years, and here was my opportunity, but was I ready to make a big decision like that? It would have been easy to just let life happen at that time, but a lesson I have learned is that it’s important to make decisions, even if they’re wrong ones.

We cannot change the past, but we can have an impact on our future. So I decided to take a course to become a Professional Life Coach and start following a dream I’ve had for a long time but never went anywhere because of ‘non-decisions’.

Don’t allow ‘non-decisions’ to happen in your life.

What was your life like five years ago? What decisions did you make then that contributed to where you are now?

Now, create an image of your life five years from now! What decisions are you going to make today that will contribute to where you’re going to be then?

The women at the retreat all created a compelling future, along with decisions, goals and action steps. Will they stay focused to make those changes happen? They might need some help along the way. They each went away with an accountability partner and the promise of a follow-up coaching session with me. Some of them will have changed lives because of decisions made. Others will let ‘non-decisions’ take over their lives and five years from now will be no different.

I am thankful for the woman who impacted me with her statement about ‘non-decisions’. I’m looking forward to our coaching session to see how she’s doing!

Carlissa, a grade 12 student who attended the retreat with her friend, wrote: “I am more determined after today to complete goals I set. I am more sure that I can accomplish anything I want.” What a great foundation for her future!

Please leave a comment and tell us about your decisions – what is your life going to be like five years from now?

GET HAPPY

Gretchen Rubin started a Happiness Project a few years ago. She’s even written a book about it. I read about it in our local Metro yesterday. She had a theme for every month.

Her January theme was Boost Energy, Vitality
This is what she had to say: “The key thing here is that outer order contributes to inner calm. Consider clutter and organizing. It matters. A messy closet doesn’t matter, but it does. You get a disproportionate boost from it. You can self-medicate through cleaning closets.”

My daughter told me that her goal for this year is “use it or lose it”. In other words, if she isn’t using it, she’s going to get rid of it – get it out of her home. I get it – if I have too much stuff around that I’m not using, it clutters up my space and my mind. When I de-clutter, I feel free. I’m not spending as much time on rearranging, cleaning, dusting, storing and maintaining it. It frees up valuable space and time that can be used for other things.

The same goes for my closet. When I have too many clothes in my closet (and who doesn’t?), it takes longer to decide what to wear. After I’ve reorganized my closet and gotten rid of the things I never or seldom wear, it really does give me a boost of energy. Energy to go shopping to buy things that I actually WILL wear, ...I think :)

How do you feel after you’ve tidied up an area, cleaned up the kitchen, washed your car, organized your closet? How do you feel when you have outer order?

What will it take to de-clutter your home, your desk your closet, your kitchen, your mind? What will it take to give you inner calm? What will it take for you to ‘get happy’?

Please leave a comment and tell us how you plan to boost your energy and vitality this month.

LOOKING AHEAD

For Christmas I received two prints for my office wall – one from each of my daughters. One says, “Keep Calm and Carry On” and the other one, “Live What You Love”. They are both red! I love red – I think it’s my favourite colour – it’s so vibrant and full of energy and life!
A friend came for lunch last Friday and gave me two little books and a Jim Rohn sampler CD. I couldn’t have been more excited! The books are: SUCCESS – Quotes for Achievers and The Treasury of Quotes, both by Jim Rohn. When I told her that I heard Jim Rohn speak in person, she couldn’t believe it! She is an obvious fan of his. (http://www.jimrohn.com/)

It didn’t take me long to read through the booklets – so motivational.

On one of the pages, this quote caught my attention:
With the beginning of a new year, it’s a good time to really think about that quote. Am I going to leave my future in someone else’s hands, or am I going to make plans for a future that I want?

Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.

We’ve all heard this proverb:

Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while others wonder what has happened.

What are your goals for 2011? What do you want to celebrate at the end of this year?

I have a list of questions which will help me reflect on 2010, and think about the year ahead. I received them from another coach and am looking forward to taking some time today to reflect, set goals and plan for my future. If you email me (bettygood@shaw.ca) I’ll send you a copy. (I couldn’t figure out a way to attach them to my blog post.)

I wish for you a wonderful and happy New Year!

Please feel free to share your goals and reflections with me and others by leaving a comment.


What are my goals for 2011? What do I want to celebrate at the end of this year?

LIVING THE DREAM

Last Tuesday morning I woke up to - 29 degrees in Calgary and reports of icy roads, traffic jams, transit problems, and wind chill temperatures of -35. I got up, showered, poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on my couch. The nicest thing about the morning was that I did not have to go out that day. I live on the 14th floor and the view from my couch is the skyline of Calgary. My condo was toasty warm, and as I sat looking out the window, I felt very peaceful. I was thankful that I didn’t have to go out into the cold. Why didn't I have to go out?  ...because I was working from home that day!
Reflecting on my life that morning, I realized that I am living my dream! I have my own business, am my own boss, can schedule my own appointments AND I do not have someone else controlling my life. It was an 'aha' moment. When you have your own business, it doesn't always feel like a dream when you’re having to put in some 20 hour days and have deadlines to meet. But times like Tuesday morning when I could take time to relax with a cup of coffee, watch the Calgary winter from my cozy living room, listen to reports of the cold temperatures and numerous car crashes, it definitely felt like a dream.

Dreams don’t come easy – they’re hard work, but they are definitely worth it!

What is YOUR dream? What choices are you making today to move you toward that dream? Please leave a comment and share your dream - and tell us one small step you're going to take to help you realize it.

Betty
http://www.bettygood.ca/

Personal Life Coaching

Make a Change!: Self Doubt or Self Talk

Self Doubt or Self Talk

In the last entry I posted part of an article by Brian Tracy about goal setting and the obstacles of achieving our goals. He stated that the two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt.

I can totally attest to that statement! In the past when I’ve thought about some goals I’ve wanted to accomplish, my own thoughts of self-doubt or fear would take over. For example, when I returned from Japan a few years ago, my plan was to write a book about my four-year experience living with a Japanese family and being submersed in that culture. I even had my material written out; it just needed some tweaking. I never wrote that book! Why not?

My own thoughts took over and I didn’t try to change them. My thinking went something like this: Who would buy my book? Who would be interested in reading about MY experiences? What if people laugh at me? Who do I think I am, trying to write a book and market it? What if my marketing doesn’t work? What if....? What if...?
Looking back, how silly I was! What was I afraid of? Why did I have so much self-doubt? What could I have done differently?
One problem was that I was listening to others. When I told someone about my plan, if they weren’t excited about it like I was, I interpreted that into: See, who do you think you are, wanting to write a book? No one is really interested in what you have to say. Self-doubt definitely crept in. And I believed it! Then fear took over and I didn’t do anything.

I should have listened to my heart, not my head. From what I’ve learned about coaching since then, I realize that a coach would have been a good solution – kept me thinking ‘right’ thoughts, focused on believing in myself, helped me overcome my fear. I should have surrounded myself with positive people who believed in me. I should have...!
Here I am – four and a half years later – still no book. But I have achieved a lot of other things since then. I have learned a lot about myself and my fears and self-doubt. I have learned that I need to take control of the thoughts that enter my mind and change them to positive and encouraging ones. (I don’t always practise what I’ve learned, but when I do it makes a huge difference.)
Are you struggling with fear and self-doubt? Are you willing to change those negative thoughts that enter your mind uninvited? It isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. I wrote an article last April about changing your thoughts. This is a good reminder for me. I’m not writing a book about Japan, but I have a list of goals I want to achieve. I have to continually be aware of my thoughts and how they are affecting me. I cannot afford to give way to fear – it’s not a healthy emotion. I must also dismiss negative thoughts as they enter my head and replace them with positive thoughts. The effort is well worth it. I am worth it!
How about you? What are you struggling with? It all starts in your mind – with your thoughts! Start changing those negative ones into positive ones and you will notice a difference. You are worth it!
Please leave a comment to help the rest of us learn more about this topic.