MOVE THE BUS!!!

We were stuck on the bus with nowhere to go!

The last week of March I had the privilege to go to Las Vegas and share my friend's timeshare resort with her. Since I've been battling sinus problems and a lack of energy, this was just what the doctor ordered - rest in some warm weather.

I love watching people; I could do that all day and not tire of it. There was no lack of people-watching opportunities there. One incident had my friend and me talking for a few days, and I'm still thinking about it.

Because the resort was on the outskirts of the city, after we’d been to the city we had to transfer buses at the south terminal and then hop on a local bus to our resort. One evening around 9:30, we got to the terminal and had to wait for quite awhile for the next bus. A few of us gathered around to wait. Some people knew each other (there were only four tourists on this bus) and chatted. They included the rest of us and we were all having a good time joking around and bantering back and forth. This continued on the bus until the bus stopped suddenly due to a collision up ahead. The emergency vehicles raced past us; our bus driver pulled onto the shoulder and called his supervisor, which was policy in this situation.

The bantering continued as everyone was in a good mood for a few minutes. One person joked that she might be late for work; another was worried about playing bingo; another was concerned that her transfer was going to expire. My friend and I just sat and listened to the others, smiling at their antics, until without warning, they weren’t funny anymore.

As the traffic started moving along the detour on the shoulder up ahead, our bus didn’t budge. Another bus even drove past us! That’s when the ‘amiable’ passengers who’d kept us entertained actually started to get scary. They hollered – shouted – at the bus driver to get moving. He ignored them. A few more joined in until finally one of the passengers actually asked him if we weren’t going to go, to which the driver responded, “I don’t want to lose my job.” Another passenger asked if he would give extend her transfer and his response was, “You can ask the supervisor when he shows up.”

None of this was satisfactory and no one understood why our bus wasn’t moving when the traffic wasn’t a problem anymore. Then the passengers got rather abusive and hurled insults and sarcasm about the driver. They told stories about how it was the worst transit company, how the buses were always late, they couldn’t depend on them, the drivers didn’t care, etc. etc. etc.

Being a Life Coach, I racked my brain to think of how I could turn this into something positive. My friend and I looked at each other, wondering if there was anything we could do. We tried telling them about the good experiences we had with the bus system – only to be quickly shouted down with their negative experiences. That shut us up fast!

When the supervisor finally arrived, he curtly told the passenger that her transfer could not be extended. That was great – another person who didn’t care! He led the bus through the detour and my friend and I were grateful to get off shortly after that. After we got off, my friend made a comment: “crowd mentality”. We decided that if the supervisor hadn’t arrived when he did, the situation could have gotten ugly. Needless to say, it got very uncomfortable.

The next day, as I was mulling over what happened, I thought about how the driver could have diffused the situation with a simple explanation; this would have helped us all understand his behaviour. Instead, the perception was that he was incompetent, or a coward, or ...who knows what? I recalled that one of the passengers often said, “I don’t understand.”

Human nature is a scary thing! Everything can be going along smoothly with everyone enjoying themselves – and then something goes wrong, we don’t understand what is happening, and all hell breaks loose. Why? ...just because we don’t understand!!!

On the bus, the passengers did not understand and their opinion was that the bus driver didn’t care enough about them to offer an explanation. I wonder how the bus driver felt when he heard the abusive comments made about him. From my experience using personality assessments in my coaching practice, I concluded that the bus driver didn’t have the natural strengths needed to relate with the people he encountered on a daily basis. I also questioned the training he may have received – did it include strategies to diffuse difficult situations?

All in all, it was a very interesting experience and my friend and I were relieved to get off that bus. The people we liked when we first met them at the bus stop became people we were actually nervous about being around. They were stressed and behaved impulsively.

Makes me consider my own behaviour when I don’t understand something which causes stress in my life! How do I react? How am I perceived by others?

How about you – how are you perceived when you are in a stressful situation?