Such an inspirational and motivational women ~ Oprah! As I watched Oprah’s last show, I was impressed at the huge difference she has made in individuals around the world. What impressed me more is that she is so “real”.
I grabbed my journal and here are the notes I took – hope they inspire and motivate YOU!
• “This is what I was called to do.”
• Your calling lights you up and lets you know you’re doing exactly what you’re meant to do.
• What sparks the life in you?
• Each of us has our own platform.
• Every day we let our life speak for us. We have the power to change someone’s life.
• Use your passion to serve others.
• Nobody but you is responsible for your life.
• You’re responsible for the energy you create for yourself and the energy you bring to others.
• “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.”
• There’s a common thread that runs through all our pain – the feeling of unworthiness.
• We block our own blessings because we don’t feel worthy enough.
• Me being alive makes worthiness my birthright.
• We all want validation.
o “Do you see me?”
o “Do you hear me?”
o “Does what I say mean anything to you?”
• Validate others: “What you say matters to me.”
• Her 4th grade teacher made her feel like she mattered.
• What are the whispers in your life?
• What is speaking to you and will you hear it?
• “I hope you will be a safe harbour for someone else.”
• “Gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take away from this experience.”
• “To God be the Glory!”
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
FEAR OF FAILURE
A group of grade 12 students discovered their strengths and learned more about themselves last week. They had each done the Leading From Your Strengths personality assessment ahead of time and brought the report to my workshop.
At the beginning I had them partner up and describe their ‘idea life’ ten years from now. They also identified the challenges they would be facing to get there. Near the end of the workshop, I offered to do a laser coaching session with one of the students to show them some tools to help them overcome their challenges.
What I expected was a simple challenge – what I got was something quite different! What I expected was a female student to volunteer – what I got was a male student!
When asked about his challenge, his answer was “Fear of failure.” Wow! He really took me by surprise! I looked at the clock and realized I had exactly seven minutes for this ‘laser session’ and the challenge was a huge one! What to do? Normally I feel quite confident coaching in front of a group, but this one threw me a little.
I wondered how a grade 12 student could know himself so well to realize that he was afraid of failure – most adults cannot even identify their fears! I also wondered what kind of difference I could make in seven minutes to help him start to conquer this huge problem.
By the end of the brief session, with the others watching, he had opened himself up completely. We discovered that a soccer coach had said something to him ten years ago (when he was seven or eight years old) that was definitely not encouraging. It had the opposite effect on him. He didn’t tell us the words, but we understood the message – that he was a failure! Empathy filled the room.
He also told us about some tools he had developed to help him, and how he wasn’t allowing his fear to paralyze him. But he was concerned about how it would affect him in his future. We finished the session with more ideas, and he took me up on my offer of a free follow-up coaching session.
I was totally impressed with this young man for a number of reasons. He wasn’t afraid to share his story with his peers; he became vulnerable. He had developed some tools to help him with his fear; he wasn’t going to allow it to control him. He was willing to ask for help – that in itself is significant! How many adults find it hard to ask for help?
Among other emotions, I experienced anger – not at this student, but with his coach from ten years ago!!! I thought about the privilege, the opportunity and the responsibility he had to influence the young lives on his team, and he abused them. I thought about the way he destroyed the trust this young boy had in him and how it is still haunting him ten years later. I get very angry when I think about how some adults mistreat children in their sphere of influence! I could go on a rant about that, but I won’t. I’m sure you would agree with me. After all these years, at times I personally still struggle with my self-esteem and self-confidence because of the way I was treated growing up. But that’s another story...
I would encourage each of you who are reading this to be a positive influence in the lives of those around you. We can hear one negative comment and never forget it. But the positive ones are too often forgotten. I heard it said that is takes 21 positive comments to negate a negative one, but I believe that some of the negative things hurled at us are never forgotten! Let’s offer positive and encouraging remarks! Let’s make a positive difference in the lives of others – especially children.
Please leave a comment to tell how a positive comment from someone has impacted you!
At the beginning I had them partner up and describe their ‘idea life’ ten years from now. They also identified the challenges they would be facing to get there. Near the end of the workshop, I offered to do a laser coaching session with one of the students to show them some tools to help them overcome their challenges.
What I expected was a simple challenge – what I got was something quite different! What I expected was a female student to volunteer – what I got was a male student!
When asked about his challenge, his answer was “Fear of failure.” Wow! He really took me by surprise! I looked at the clock and realized I had exactly seven minutes for this ‘laser session’ and the challenge was a huge one! What to do? Normally I feel quite confident coaching in front of a group, but this one threw me a little.
I wondered how a grade 12 student could know himself so well to realize that he was afraid of failure – most adults cannot even identify their fears! I also wondered what kind of difference I could make in seven minutes to help him start to conquer this huge problem.
By the end of the brief session, with the others watching, he had opened himself up completely. We discovered that a soccer coach had said something to him ten years ago (when he was seven or eight years old) that was definitely not encouraging. It had the opposite effect on him. He didn’t tell us the words, but we understood the message – that he was a failure! Empathy filled the room.
He also told us about some tools he had developed to help him, and how he wasn’t allowing his fear to paralyze him. But he was concerned about how it would affect him in his future. We finished the session with more ideas, and he took me up on my offer of a free follow-up coaching session.
I was totally impressed with this young man for a number of reasons. He wasn’t afraid to share his story with his peers; he became vulnerable. He had developed some tools to help him with his fear; he wasn’t going to allow it to control him. He was willing to ask for help – that in itself is significant! How many adults find it hard to ask for help?
Among other emotions, I experienced anger – not at this student, but with his coach from ten years ago!!! I thought about the privilege, the opportunity and the responsibility he had to influence the young lives on his team, and he abused them. I thought about the way he destroyed the trust this young boy had in him and how it is still haunting him ten years later. I get very angry when I think about how some adults mistreat children in their sphere of influence! I could go on a rant about that, but I won’t. I’m sure you would agree with me. After all these years, at times I personally still struggle with my self-esteem and self-confidence because of the way I was treated growing up. But that’s another story...
I would encourage each of you who are reading this to be a positive influence in the lives of those around you. We can hear one negative comment and never forget it. But the positive ones are too often forgotten. I heard it said that is takes 21 positive comments to negate a negative one, but I believe that some of the negative things hurled at us are never forgotten! Let’s offer positive and encouraging remarks! Let’s make a positive difference in the lives of others – especially children.
Please leave a comment to tell how a positive comment from someone has impacted you!
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