She always referred to herself as ‘Mother’. That’s how she signed her cards and notes. Even though I called her ‘Mom’, she was Mother. ...and what a Mother she was!
Last Wednesday we laid her to rest; she is now with her husband, who left us last November. It was hard losing him, but even harder losing her. Did I think she was invincible? Did I think she would always be here? Did I think she would never leave us?
This is Mother’s Day. My own mother passed away eleven years ago in the spring; my mother-in-law passed away a week ago. She was more like a mother than a mother-in-law! I loved that about her – she accepted me into her family and never let go.
There are many adjectives I can think of to describe her: independent, strong, humble, unassuming, compassionate, caring, thoughtful, grateful, organized, efficient, loving, giving, patient, reserved, gentle, positive, devoted, generous, competent, not wasteful, resourceful, practical, self-sacrificing and full of faith in Jesus, her Saviour.
As I think about her this morning, I think about the qualities in her life I would like to emulate. One thing she never (or seldom) did was criticize others. She did not offer advice unless we asked for it. She let us live our lives and supported us, without criticism. She was wonderful about accepting people and not passing judgement. What a rare quality! She never stopped loving, even when we did things that did not line up with her values.
Seldom did anyone hear her complain about anything. I’m sure she had lots to complain about from time to time, but we never heard negative words. She was great about accepting circumstances and rising above them.
I think the quality that stands out for me was her unselfish attitude. She put the needs of others ahead herself. It was most evident in the last few years when Dad’s health was failing. They shared a room in a Seniors’ Manor and he could always depend on her to be there for him. There were many times when she deprived herself from participating in activities, events or outings because she would not leave him behind, even though he would have been in good hands at the home. I doubt if there was a selfish bone in her body!
What am I going to miss? Our telephone conversations ~ her cards ~ her notes written on the back of placemats ~ the envelopes that contained news articles she thought might interest me. (We lived a few thousand miles apart.) I’ll miss dialling the phone and her voice on the other end. I’ll miss visiting her and running errands with her. I’ll miss the way she made me feel valued whenever we talked or spent time together. I’ll miss that she won’t be my kids’ Grandma any longer.
I’m grateful that she gave us all good memories and a wonderful legacy. She was a grand example of a beautiful person who loved and cared for her family and friends. She loved and cared for her husband for 65 years and after he passed away, she couldn’t bear living without him. She went on ahead of us to join her Lord and her husband – and we can look forward to joining her in heaven some day. I love you, Mother!
What quality in your mother's life would you want to emulate?
