PERCEPTION IS REALITY ~ OR IS IT?

Things are not always as they seem – or are they? 

I once had a neighbour who would not say hello to me unless I spoke to her first. I thought she was a snob! When I got to know her, it turned out that she was shy! (Did I feel foolish?!?)

Did I learn my lesson? Of course not! I continued to think that others were not friendly or didn’t like me if they didn’t say hi or smile at me when we passed each other on the sidewalk. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot about myself – and others – since then. I realize that I am a very outgoing and friendly person who wants to say hi to everyone I meet. I think we should all be friends. What I have learned is that other personalities might not want to say hi to people they don’t know, and they don’t necessarily want to be my friend. Now I can actually stand in the elevator in my building and not feel like I have to make conversation with the person who’s looking at his shoes, or the woman who’s reading her text messages. I’m okay with giving them their space and not feel like they are rejecting me. My perception has changed. It’s a good thing, or I would be feeling rejected a lot, or judging others for being snooty or unfriendly, when in reality they’re not!

That is a simple example. But the way we perceive situations can have some serious repercussions if we aren’t open to finding the truth in the matter. For example, a woman I know hated it when her husband became defensive. She thought he was being arrogant. In fact, it became a huge issue in their marriage until they finally had a serious talk about it, and she found out that his defensiveness was a cover-up for the anxiety he was experiencing. Their discussion led them to the root of the problem and changed the way they relate to each other.

Perception – it really is our reality, but that doesn’t mean it’s the truth. I’m sure you can think of plenty of examples of your own.

Most often it’s the wrong perception in a situation that is the problem. Years ago, I heard someone say,
“Be a fact finder, not a fault finder.” What good advice.

The next time you are critical of someone, check your perception. Ask yourself why you think the way you do. Perhaps you are assuming something. Assumptions are not always accurate and they are based on your perception. Keep asking questions to help you discover the truth of the situation. If necessary, you may have to talk to the other person to get the facts straight. After all of that, you will have the information you need to decide if your perception was accurate and you can determine your reality. Hopefully it will be a good result.

Wow – I just thought of another way people distort their perception in order to avoid an unpleasant truth. Maybe it’s too difficult to face the truth, so they look for something positive to create a false reality. That is not good – that sounds like a topic for another post. Anyone want to tackle that one?
Think of a situation in your life where you might be a bit critical of another person. How do you perceive their actions and their behaviour? Are you jumping to conclusions? Are you making assumptions? Is your perception your reality? Is it the truth?

Go ahead – be a fact finder. Get the truth – it could change your reality! It could change your life!