Self Doubt or Self Talk

In the last entry I posted part of an article by Brian Tracy about goal setting and the obstacles of achieving our goals. He stated that the two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt.

I can totally attest to that statement! In the past when I’ve thought about some goals I’ve wanted to accomplish, my own thoughts of self-doubt or fear would take over. For example, when I returned from Japan a few years ago, my plan was to write a book about my four-year experience living with a Japanese family and being submersed in that culture. I even had my material written out; it just needed some tweaking. I never wrote that book! Why not?

My own thoughts took over and I didn’t try to change them. My thinking went something like this: Who would buy my book? Who would be interested in reading about MY experiences? What if people laugh at me? Who do I think I am, trying to write a book and market it? What if my marketing doesn’t work? What if....? What if...?
Looking back, how silly I was! What was I afraid of? Why did I have so much self-doubt? What could I have done differently?
One problem was that I was listening to others. When I told someone about my plan, if they weren’t excited about it like I was, I interpreted that into: See, who do you think you are, wanting to write a book? No one is really interested in what you have to say. Self-doubt definitely crept in. And I believed it! Then fear took over and I didn’t do anything.

I should have listened to my heart, not my head. From what I’ve learned about coaching since then, I realize that a coach would have been a good solution – kept me thinking ‘right’ thoughts, focused on believing in myself, helped me overcome my fear. I should have surrounded myself with positive people who believed in me. I should have...!
Here I am – four and a half years later – still no book. But I have achieved a lot of other things since then. I have learned a lot about myself and my fears and self-doubt. I have learned that I need to take control of the thoughts that enter my mind and change them to positive and encouraging ones. (I don’t always practise what I’ve learned, but when I do it makes a huge difference.)
Are you struggling with fear and self-doubt? Are you willing to change those negative thoughts that enter your mind uninvited? It isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. I wrote an article last April about changing your thoughts. This is a good reminder for me. I’m not writing a book about Japan, but I have a list of goals I want to achieve. I have to continually be aware of my thoughts and how they are affecting me. I cannot afford to give way to fear – it’s not a healthy emotion. I must also dismiss negative thoughts as they enter my head and replace them with positive thoughts. The effort is well worth it. I am worth it!
How about you? What are you struggling with? It all starts in your mind – with your thoughts! Start changing those negative ones into positive ones and you will notice a difference. You are worth it!
Please leave a comment to help the rest of us learn more about this topic.

MAJOR OBSTACLES TO ACHIEVEMENT

Why do we keep setting goals and failing to see them through to fruition?


I came across an article in Success Magazine that talked about goal setting. The above question caught my attention and I could hardly wait to see what the answer was. Brian Tracy gave the following answer:
Most people give up before they even make the first try. And the reason they give up is because of all the obstacles, difficulties, problems and roadblocks that immediately appear as soon as they decide to do something they have never done before. The fact is that successful people fail far more often than unsuccessful people. Successful people try more things, fall down, pick themselves up and try again—over and over before they finally win.


The two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt. The fear of failure, poverty, loss, embarrassment or rejection holds most people back from trying in the first place. Small fears overwhelm them and, like a bucket of water on a small fi re, extinguish their desire completely.


The second mental obstacle, closely aligned to fear, is self-doubt. We doubt our own abilities. We compare ourselves unfavorably to others and think that others are somehow better, smarter and more competent than we are. We think, I’m not good enough. We feel inadequate and inferior to the challenges of achieving the great goals that we so want to accomplish. If there is anything good about doubt and fear, it is that they are learned emotions. And whatever has been learned can be unlearned through practice and repetition.

Now that I know what the obstacles are, I can do something about them! ...but only if I choose to.

I'll continue along this theme next time. Do you have any questions you'd like addressed?

Please leave a comment about what keeps you from seeing your goals through to fruition.

What's a Coaching Group???

Last week, after I invited you to become part of my Achieve Your Goals Coaching Group, people started asking me for more information.

In this coaching group, here is how you will benefit:
• Create goals to make changes
• Communicate your goal to the group
• Get ongoing support of the group to keep you on track
• Share weekly action steps and progress
• Profit from accountability partners
• Share courage, strength and hope
• Express struggles and disappointments
• Be motivated and inspired
• Become empowered
• Receive ongoing motivation
• Have me coach you individually as the need arises
• Benefit from listening to others being coached
• Be successful in achieving your goal

Hopefully this helps you to understand how you can make changes in the next three months. The thought of that excites me - how about you?
 
If you are interested, please email me: bettygood@shaw.ca

ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS COACHING GROUP

Do you have something you want to achieve, a deadline to meet, weight to lose, a habit to change, a change to make, a skill to improve, a project to start, a project to finish?

If so, I’d like to invite you to join a new coaching group starting next month. The group will be meeting by phone, so location is not an issue. This group is being offered at a special introductory rate.

By joining this coaching group, you can achieve more than you could ever do alone!

Tuesdays, October 19 – January 25

(excluding Christmas holidays)

7 – 8 p.m. (Mountain Time)

By phone

Maximum 5 people

Register by email or phone

bettygood@shaw.ca ~ 403-774-8697

Registration deadline Sept. 30

SPECIAL OFFER

13 sessions ~ $300.