FEELING OVERWHELMED???

Are you feeling overwhelmed? I know the feeling well! Let me share with you something that my sister told with me years ago that really helped me.


It was many years ago when my three children were very young and needed a lot of care. We lived in a big house with a big yard and a big garden. (Everything was BIG) My husband worked and did not have time to help me, so the responsibilities of the house, the yard, the garden and the kids fell to me. We did not have the finances to hire someone to help me.


Did I feel overwhelmed? That is an understatement!


I hated having a messy house, a cluttered kitchen, unmade beds, piles of laundry, a big lawn to mow, flower beds with weeds, an all-consuming garden and little time for the kids!!!!!!


Some days, after I put the kids down for their naps, I was so overwhelmed with everything that I just lay down on the couch and had a nap myself. That didn’t help because when I woke up it was back to ‘overwhelm’ and then I felt guilty for not taking advantage of the time when the kids were napping to get some work done. I would often stay up until after midnight just to catch up a bit after the kids were in bed.


One summer afternoon, my much older and wiser sister dropped by for a visit. While we were walking around the yard, she heard me lamenting about how much there was to do and how overwhelmed I was feeling. In her wisdom she gave me some clever advice. She suggested that I just focus on one flower bed that day, and not even think about the rest of the yard. That seemed to work: I could think about just one flower bed and weed that one that day, and not think about the rest of the yard and get overwhelmed. That gave me a feeling of accomplishment.


I had a similar experience the summer my third child was born. She was born at the end of May, the same summer that my father was dying. I was recovering from my C-section as well as trying to meet all the responsibilities listed above. On top of that, the children (three ages 5 and under) and I went to visit my father every other day. The visit to the hospital took all afternoon, including a one-hour car ride each way. Needless to say, the house got neglected! My father died at the end of September and after that my mother-in-law gave me some great advice. I must have been complaining about the amount of work I needed to do to get the house back in shape and her recommendation was to tackle one room a month! Wow – one room a month? It turned out to be very good advice because it was totally manageable and took away the guilt of having to have my house in great shape asap. What a relief. I could lower the expectations I had for myself and stop the feeling of being overwhelmed. What a gift!


Now it’s your turn:

• Are you feeling overwhelmed?

• What is one thing you can focus on today?

• How can you break down a big job into smaller, more manageable chunks?

• Where can you lower your expectations?

• What can you stop feeling guilty about?

Since overwhelm is a word I’m hearing over and over again, over the next few weeks I’m going to continue blogging about what you can do to help you to balance your life and feel more satisfaction. Feeling overwhelmed does not serve us well.

Stay tuned – please leave a comment with your suggestions so others can benefit from your wisdom.