LISTENING - WHAT A GIFT!

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

I don’t know who wrote the above quote, but I sure like it. Are YOU a good listener? Do you know someone who is? Do you have a spouse or friend who is?

What does it mean to listen to someone?

When you have something to share, are excited about something or are having a bad day, you want to talk with a friend, right? Most people do! Others like to retreat and spend time alone, reflecting.

I’m the kind of person who needs someone with whom to share my emotions. When something wonderful has happened, the first thing I want to do is call someone to tell them! I want someone to share my joy.

When something terrible has happened to me, the first thing I want to do is call someone to tell them! I want someone to share my anger or disappointment.

When I’m feeling sad or downcast, I want someone to talk with. I want someone to share my sadness.

I don’t think I’m much different than most extroverts. We all want someone to be there when we are experiencing the ups and downs of life. The thing we want most is for someone to listen to us. ...really listen to us – without an agenda of what they are going to say as soon as they get an opening. We want them to care about what we are saying – care about us!

The kind of listening I’m talking about is this:
• Listening to someone without saying much....just listening
• Listening without telling your own story
• Listening without offering advice
• Listening with the sole pupose of experiencing what the speaker is experiencing
• Listening, and more listening
• When the person pauses, keep on listening!
• Listen and wait. Don’t fill the space with your own words; the person probably has more to share and needs time to process and get it out.
• It’s all about the other person – not about you.

Who listens like that? Is that what it means to listen?

The next time you are talking to someone, be aware of how they are listening to you. The next time someone is telling you something, be aware of your own listening skills. Try ‘listening’!

Here is an experiment for you to try. When you are in a conversation, listen to the other person without interruption for at least five minutes. When there’s a pause, ask a question to give the other person space to continue. When they are listened to, they will feel that you really care! And we all want to feel cared for!

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”