DECISIONS VS NON-DECISIONS

Indecision becomes decision with time. ~Author Unknown

Last Saturday I was helping a group of women to create a compelling future for themselves. A comment one of the women made really had an impact on me. It shouldn’t have, but sometimes we have moments when we hear things that we’ve heard or experienced before, and it’s like hearing it for the first time!

I asked the women to think back to what their lives were like five years ago. Then I posed the following: Notice what decisions you made five years ago that contributed to where you are now. As some of them shared, one woman told the group that because of her ‘non-decisions’ five years ago, she was at the exact same spot in life she was back then.

I’ve thought about her statement a lot since then. I thought about the ‘non-decisions’ I’ve made in the past that kept me from moving forward. I loved the way she said ‘non-decisions’. When we don’t make a decision, we’re actually making one – and it’s not always positive!

When I think back to five years ago, I was in a huge transition in my life, and I made some good decisions. Two years later I was thoroughly enjoying my life when suddenly someone else made a huge decision that impacted my future tremendously. It was time to make more decisions. I struggled with the next step. I’d dreamed about owning my own business for years, and here was my opportunity, but was I ready to make a big decision like that? It would have been easy to just let life happen at that time, but a lesson I have learned is that it’s important to make decisions, even if they’re wrong ones.

We cannot change the past, but we can have an impact on our future. So I decided to take a course to become a Professional Life Coach and start following a dream I’ve had for a long time but never went anywhere because of ‘non-decisions’.

Don’t allow ‘non-decisions’ to happen in your life.

What was your life like five years ago? What decisions did you make then that contributed to where you are now?

Now, create an image of your life five years from now! What decisions are you going to make today that will contribute to where you’re going to be then?

The women at the retreat all created a compelling future, along with decisions, goals and action steps. Will they stay focused to make those changes happen? They might need some help along the way. They each went away with an accountability partner and the promise of a follow-up coaching session with me. Some of them will have changed lives because of decisions made. Others will let ‘non-decisions’ take over their lives and five years from now will be no different.

I am thankful for the woman who impacted me with her statement about ‘non-decisions’. I’m looking forward to our coaching session to see how she’s doing!

Carlissa, a grade 12 student who attended the retreat with her friend, wrote: “I am more determined after today to complete goals I set. I am more sure that I can accomplish anything I want.” What a great foundation for her future!

Please leave a comment and tell us about your decisions – what is your life going to be like five years from now?

LOOKING AHEAD

For Christmas I received two prints for my office wall – one from each of my daughters. One says, “Keep Calm and Carry On” and the other one, “Live What You Love”. They are both red! I love red – I think it’s my favourite colour – it’s so vibrant and full of energy and life!
A friend came for lunch last Friday and gave me two little books and a Jim Rohn sampler CD. I couldn’t have been more excited! The books are: SUCCESS – Quotes for Achievers and The Treasury of Quotes, both by Jim Rohn. When I told her that I heard Jim Rohn speak in person, she couldn’t believe it! She is an obvious fan of his. (http://www.jimrohn.com/)

It didn’t take me long to read through the booklets – so motivational.

On one of the pages, this quote caught my attention:
With the beginning of a new year, it’s a good time to really think about that quote. Am I going to leave my future in someone else’s hands, or am I going to make plans for a future that I want?

Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.

We’ve all heard this proverb:

Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while others wonder what has happened.

What are your goals for 2011? What do you want to celebrate at the end of this year?

I have a list of questions which will help me reflect on 2010, and think about the year ahead. I received them from another coach and am looking forward to taking some time today to reflect, set goals and plan for my future. If you email me (bettygood@shaw.ca) I’ll send you a copy. (I couldn’t figure out a way to attach them to my blog post.)

I wish for you a wonderful and happy New Year!

Please feel free to share your goals and reflections with me and others by leaving a comment.


What are my goals for 2011? What do I want to celebrate at the end of this year?

FEEL MORE IN CONTROL

Many people have no idea how they can benefit from having a Life Coach. It is a rather new profession and for many, it's unfamiliar territory. Here is an e-mail I received from a client after a few months of coaching sessions. She had given me permission to use it here, hoping you will be inspired by it! Please leave a comment after you've read it - she'd appreciate that.

Dear Betty,
In coaching you taught me about ways to keep a dream active and alive, such as making a dream board and keeping it visible. Also, by learning how to turn the dream into a goal, plus already seeing the progress, it is inspiring enough to keep the motivation in forward gear.

Putting a time-line in motion is liberating.

Through this process, my  husband, too, is learning and we both have been able to appreciate and be more at peace with our lives. Before the dream taking on a life of its own, daily life seemed to be in a whirl-wind of confusing limbo. In other words...out of control. I guess what I am saying is that after all of the coaching I've had with you, I finally realized that being more in control is not at all a life of being bound and restrictive. I now see that taking charge and being more in control is actually giving me a more liberated feeling. I know, at first it seems a contradiction in terms, but it is really quite the opposite, as I've just recently learned. Planning and order result in a life of freedom for the soul because of the peaceful feeling it evokes, not to mention a clearer picture or path. A clearer path in life is so much more relaxed. A crowded and windy path has all sorts of unforeseen twists and turns which don't provide enough time to adjust before the next jog in the road. Relaxing on a windy path is the last thing on one's mind, or in one's life, when each new jog creates nervous anticipation.

The life of a free-spirit is not at all about complacency as I thought.
I've learned my anxiety has come from too many unknowns....not having enough control.
I've learned a better balance in life.
I've learned how to recognize and implement the balancing tools of life.
I've learned how to find and use my own skills and tools......that were right there all along ....almost obvious.....but somehow obscured.

I feel that the job of a Life Coach is to hand out the right key to unlock each new door of peace/freedom/potential/life. Betty, as I write this from the heart, I have realized just how much I have learned and just how far I have come.

Looking back to the beginning and reviewing where I was, is even more motivating. Your life coaching sessions have taught me the tools necessary to balance life, goals and dreams. Teaching me how to begin working on the path towards our 'boat-life' was the catalyst point for developing skills in many other areas of my life. It is definitely about balance...for one thing affects another.....and another...and another....that’s for certain, which makes that another benefit of having a Life Coach. I've learned to appreciate even more, the 'simple pleasures' in life because they are part of the scenery along that nice clear path. The 'simple pleasures' aren't lost among the overgrowth or hairpin turns.

Thank-you Betty....truly....life-coach/friend....such a blessing....

Roni

YOU CAN PREDICT YOUR FUTURE!

You probably think you cannot predict your future! But you can - if you pay attention to your thoughts!

Your thoughts cause the feelings you have. Your feelings cause your actions. Your actions cause results. Pay attention to your thoughts today and you’ll know what results you’ll experience tomorrow.

We all know positive, optimistic people. They are usually happy, have good things happen around them, are pretty successful in what they do, have a great attitude about life.

We also know negative, pessimistic people. They see the glass ‘half empty’. They see the negative side of a situation; they get anxious and worried about issues. Being around someone like this drags us down. What kind of results are they producing?

Be aware of your thoughts. You are not a victim of your thoughts. You can control them. You can exercise thought prevention! You can change your thoughts.

Change the thoughts, and you change the person. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love?

Thoughts cause feelings; feelings cause actions; actions cause results. If you don’t like the result, change your thought, which will change your actions, changing your results. It all starts with a thought.

When you are aware of your thoughts, and change them to be positive and encouraging, you maintain control.

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.