In the last entry I posted part of an article by Brian Tracy about goal setting and the obstacles of achieving our goals. He stated that the two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt.
I can totally attest to that statement! In the past when I’ve thought about some goals I’ve wanted to accomplish, my own thoughts of self-doubt or fear would take over. For example, when I returned from Japan a few years ago, my plan was to write a book about my four-year experience living with a Japanese family and being submersed in that culture. I even had my material written out; it just needed some tweaking. I never wrote that book! Why not?
My own thoughts took over and I didn’t try to change them. My thinking went something like this: Who would buy my book? Who would be interested in reading about MY experiences? What if people laugh at me? Who do I think I am, trying to write a book and market it? What if my marketing doesn’t work? What if....? What if...?
Looking back, how silly I was! What was I afraid of? Why did I have so much self-doubt? What could I have done differently?
One problem was that I was listening to others. When I told someone about my plan, if they weren’t excited about it like I was, I interpreted that into: See, who do you think you are, wanting to write a book? No one is really interested in what you have to say. Self-doubt definitely crept in. And I believed it! Then fear took over and I didn’t do anything.
I should have listened to my heart, not my head. From what I’ve learned about coaching since then, I realize that a coach would have been a good solution – kept me thinking ‘right’ thoughts, focused on believing in myself, helped me overcome my fear. I should have surrounded myself with positive people who believed in me. I should have...!
Here I am – four and a half years later – still no book. But I have achieved a lot of other things since then. I have learned a lot about myself and my fears and self-doubt. I have learned that I need to take control of the thoughts that enter my mind and change them to positive and encouraging ones. (I don’t always practise what I’ve learned, but when I do it makes a huge difference.)
Are you struggling with fear and self-doubt? Are you willing to change those negative thoughts that enter your mind uninvited? It isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. I wrote an article last April about changing your thoughts. This is a good reminder for me. I’m not writing a book about Japan, but I have a list of goals I want to achieve. I have to continually be aware of my thoughts and how they are affecting me. I cannot afford to give way to fear – it’s not a healthy emotion. I must also dismiss negative thoughts as they enter my head and replace them with positive thoughts. The effort is well worth it. I am worth it!
How about you? What are you struggling with? It all starts in your mind – with your thoughts! Start changing those negative ones into positive ones and you will notice a difference. You are worth it!
Please leave a comment to help the rest of us learn more about this topic.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
MAJOR OBSTACLES TO ACHIEVEMENT
Why do we keep setting goals and failing to see them through to fruition?
I came across an article in Success Magazine that talked about goal setting. The above question caught my attention and I could hardly wait to see what the answer was. Brian Tracy gave the following answer:
Most people give up before they even make the first try. And the reason they give up is because of all the obstacles, difficulties, problems and roadblocks that immediately appear as soon as they decide to do something they have never done before. The fact is that successful people fail far more often than unsuccessful people. Successful people try more things, fall down, pick themselves up and try again—over and over before they finally win.
The two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt. The fear of failure, poverty, loss, embarrassment or rejection holds most people back from trying in the first place. Small fears overwhelm them and, like a bucket of water on a small fi re, extinguish their desire completely.
The second mental obstacle, closely aligned to fear, is self-doubt. We doubt our own abilities. We compare ourselves unfavorably to others and think that others are somehow better, smarter and more competent than we are. We think, I’m not good enough. We feel inadequate and inferior to the challenges of achieving the great goals that we so want to accomplish. If there is anything good about doubt and fear, it is that they are learned emotions. And whatever has been learned can be unlearned through practice and repetition.
Now that I know what the obstacles are, I can do something about them! ...but only if I choose to.
I'll continue along this theme next time. Do you have any questions you'd like addressed?
Please leave a comment about what keeps you from seeing your goals through to fruition.
I came across an article in Success Magazine that talked about goal setting. The above question caught my attention and I could hardly wait to see what the answer was. Brian Tracy gave the following answer:
Most people give up before they even make the first try. And the reason they give up is because of all the obstacles, difficulties, problems and roadblocks that immediately appear as soon as they decide to do something they have never done before. The fact is that successful people fail far more often than unsuccessful people. Successful people try more things, fall down, pick themselves up and try again—over and over before they finally win.
The two major obstacles to achievement are fear and self-doubt. The fear of failure, poverty, loss, embarrassment or rejection holds most people back from trying in the first place. Small fears overwhelm them and, like a bucket of water on a small fi re, extinguish their desire completely.
The second mental obstacle, closely aligned to fear, is self-doubt. We doubt our own abilities. We compare ourselves unfavorably to others and think that others are somehow better, smarter and more competent than we are. We think, I’m not good enough. We feel inadequate and inferior to the challenges of achieving the great goals that we so want to accomplish. If there is anything good about doubt and fear, it is that they are learned emotions. And whatever has been learned can be unlearned through practice and repetition.
Now that I know what the obstacles are, I can do something about them! ...but only if I choose to.
I'll continue along this theme next time. Do you have any questions you'd like addressed?
Please leave a comment about what keeps you from seeing your goals through to fruition.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What's a Coaching Group???
Last week, after I invited you to become part of my Achieve Your Goals Coaching Group, people started asking me for more information.
In this coaching group, here is how you will benefit:
• Create goals to make changes
• Communicate your goal to the group
• Get ongoing support of the group to keep you on track
• Share weekly action steps and progress
• Profit from accountability partners
• Share courage, strength and hope
• Express struggles and disappointments
• Be motivated and inspired
• Become empowered
• Receive ongoing motivation
• Have me coach you individually as the need arises
• Benefit from listening to others being coached
• Be successful in achieving your goal
Hopefully this helps you to understand how you can make changes in the next three months. The thought of that excites me - how about you?
If you are interested, please email me: bettygood@shaw.ca
In this coaching group, here is how you will benefit:
• Create goals to make changes
• Communicate your goal to the group
• Get ongoing support of the group to keep you on track
• Share weekly action steps and progress
• Profit from accountability partners
• Share courage, strength and hope
• Express struggles and disappointments
• Be motivated and inspired
• Become empowered
• Receive ongoing motivation
• Have me coach you individually as the need arises
• Benefit from listening to others being coached
• Be successful in achieving your goal
Hopefully this helps you to understand how you can make changes in the next three months. The thought of that excites me - how about you?
If you are interested, please email me: bettygood@shaw.ca
Monday, September 13, 2010
ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS COACHING GROUP
Do you have something you want to achieve, a deadline to meet, weight to lose, a habit to change, a change to make, a skill to improve, a project to start, a project to finish?
If so, I’d like to invite you to join a new coaching group starting next month. The group will be meeting by phone, so location is not an issue. This group is being offered at a special introductory rate.
If so, I’d like to invite you to join a new coaching group starting next month. The group will be meeting by phone, so location is not an issue. This group is being offered at a special introductory rate.
By joining this coaching group, you can achieve more than you could ever do alone!
Tuesdays, October 19 – January 25
(excluding Christmas holidays)
7 – 8 p.m. (Mountain Time)
By phone
Maximum 5 people
Register by email or phone
bettygood@shaw.ca ~ 403-774-8697
Registration deadline Sept. 30
SPECIAL OFFER
13 sessions ~ $300.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
LIVING YOUR POTENTIAL
How often do others think we should do something, but for whatever reason, we don’t do it? We might think it’s a good idea, but either don’t have the desire or the confidence!
Lately I’ve been thinking about people in general, and some specifically – how most people do not live up to their potential! There are so many things standing in their way! Can you imagine what this world would be like if everyone lived to their potential, followed their dreams and passions, and lived a full life? Wow – I don’t think I can even imagine what that would be like!!!
I can hardly imagine what MY life would have been like if I had done that. I have had so many dreams and wishes in my life – gone unfulfilled. And here I am, I the last half of my life, finally following my dream! ...finally having the confidence to believe in myself! Even yet, I sometimes get tired and wish I didn’t have to work so hard! Reaching your dreams is actually hard work – maybe that’s one reason more people don’t do it. hmmm...
I wonder what other reasons people have for not following their dreams or living to their potential. I had a client who told me that he has done a lot of things, but he really wanted to be ‘an expert’ at something. He felt like he never lived up to his potential. He said when things got hard, he’d quit. That sounds like me in the past too! I wonder why? Why do we quit so easily?
We actually do have many opportunities and options. Why do so many of us settle for something that is less than satisfying? Are we so content with our lives to the point that we don’t dream anymore? Maybe we’re lazy! I doubt that! Are we just not motivated? I don’t think that’s true either. When someone is following their heart or dream, they get really motivated. Motivation creates energy – so we wouldn’t be lazy.
So – what’s the reason? Is it lack of self-confidence? Is it lack of belief in oneself? I think maybe that is what it was for me. I remember a school principal I taught for who had a lot of confidence in me. Because I didn’t really believe that I was capable of what he thought I could do, I didn’t pursue his suggestions or take advantage of those opportunities. What a waste! How many wasted opportunities have we experienced?
I feel like I’ve rambled – I let you into my mind and my thoughts. Truly – what is the reason more people don’t follow their dreams, don’t live their passion? Why are people content with a mediocre lifestyle when life has so much more to offer? Why?
Lately I’ve been thinking about people in general, and some specifically – how most people do not live up to their potential! There are so many things standing in their way! Can you imagine what this world would be like if everyone lived to their potential, followed their dreams and passions, and lived a full life? Wow – I don’t think I can even imagine what that would be like!!!
I can hardly imagine what MY life would have been like if I had done that. I have had so many dreams and wishes in my life – gone unfulfilled. And here I am, I the last half of my life, finally following my dream! ...finally having the confidence to believe in myself! Even yet, I sometimes get tired and wish I didn’t have to work so hard! Reaching your dreams is actually hard work – maybe that’s one reason more people don’t do it. hmmm...
I wonder what other reasons people have for not following their dreams or living to their potential. I had a client who told me that he has done a lot of things, but he really wanted to be ‘an expert’ at something. He felt like he never lived up to his potential. He said when things got hard, he’d quit. That sounds like me in the past too! I wonder why? Why do we quit so easily?
We actually do have many opportunities and options. Why do so many of us settle for something that is less than satisfying? Are we so content with our lives to the point that we don’t dream anymore? Maybe we’re lazy! I doubt that! Are we just not motivated? I don’t think that’s true either. When someone is following their heart or dream, they get really motivated. Motivation creates energy – so we wouldn’t be lazy.
So – what’s the reason? Is it lack of self-confidence? Is it lack of belief in oneself? I think maybe that is what it was for me. I remember a school principal I taught for who had a lot of confidence in me. Because I didn’t really believe that I was capable of what he thought I could do, I didn’t pursue his suggestions or take advantage of those opportunities. What a waste! How many wasted opportunities have we experienced?
I feel like I’ve rambled – I let you into my mind and my thoughts. Truly – what is the reason more people don’t follow their dreams, don’t live their passion? Why are people content with a mediocre lifestyle when life has so much more to offer? Why?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
COACHING versus THERAPY
People often ask me the difference between coaching and counselling or therapy. I have a friend who is a psychotherapist and a coach. She told me she prefers coaching over therapy and I asked her to explain the difference.
Here is what she told me:
In psychotherapy, the clients are in emotional pain and they need help to heal. People express their feelings about the past in the process. The sessions are held in person, in controlled settings at a certain time, typically once weekly for 45 – 60 minutes. The psychotherapist is the mental health expert and makes treatment recommendations, unlike the coach who is a partner with their client.
In coaching, the clients are doing well and looking to make a change. In the initial phase of coaching the agenda is co-created and goals are established. The goals could include upgrading their job, starting or expanding a business, life transitions, re-inventing themselves, changing a habit, etc. In coaching it is not about the past, but about the present and future. It is about where they are now and where they want to be. The sessions are flexible – in person or by phone; the length of the sessions vary from 30 to 60 minutes. Clients like the accountability factor to keep them on track as well.
If you have any comments to help clarify the difference, we’d like to hear them.
Here is what she told me:
In psychotherapy, the clients are in emotional pain and they need help to heal. People express their feelings about the past in the process. The sessions are held in person, in controlled settings at a certain time, typically once weekly for 45 – 60 minutes. The psychotherapist is the mental health expert and makes treatment recommendations, unlike the coach who is a partner with their client.
In coaching, the clients are doing well and looking to make a change. In the initial phase of coaching the agenda is co-created and goals are established. The goals could include upgrading their job, starting or expanding a business, life transitions, re-inventing themselves, changing a habit, etc. In coaching it is not about the past, but about the present and future. It is about where they are now and where they want to be. The sessions are flexible – in person or by phone; the length of the sessions vary from 30 to 60 minutes. Clients like the accountability factor to keep them on track as well.
If you have any comments to help clarify the difference, we’d like to hear them.
Monday, August 9, 2010
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!
Our society teaches us to look out for ourselves because no one else will. The attitude of a lot of people is "It's all about me." At a conference I attended the end of July, one of the themes was 'It's not about you.'
After hearing it a number of times, it finally started to sink in. We are intrinsically selfish and independent. We think we have rights to have our own needs met. That is true, but does the problem lie in not knowing the difference between our needs and wants or desires? Another problem could be expecting our needs to be met by people who have no idea how to meet them.
It's complicated. I spent years focusing on myself and trying to achieve my own happiness. When it comes right down to it, focusing on trying to be happy does not bring happiness. Focusing on ourselves does not satisfy - we'll always be disappointed. The times when I actually focused on helping someone else, or just listening to a friend without personal expectations, there was a joy inside of me.
Someone wise once said that we need a goal that is bigger than ourselves. I believe that to be true. When I only focus on me, it gets rather boring. We've all spent time with people who are self-centred - it doesn't take long to realize that it's not that enjoyable! We usually try to avoid them.
I think about my friends and family members who are really interested in me - they listen when I talk - they ask more questions. They sincerely care about me. I love being around them because of how they make me feel. I feel cared for and special.
That is the kind of person I want to be. Someone who is truly interested in what others are saying. Someone who doesn't have to chime in with a story about me! Someone who asks questions. Someone who sincerely cares about the other person. Someone who makes others feel cared for and special. Someone who thinks "It's not about me!" That's the kind of person I want to be. I don't really want to focus on what I want - I want to focus on what others want and need and try to help them. In doing that, my own needs will be met and I will be happy and content - filled with joy! What could be better than that?
Any thoughts?
After hearing it a number of times, it finally started to sink in. We are intrinsically selfish and independent. We think we have rights to have our own needs met. That is true, but does the problem lie in not knowing the difference between our needs and wants or desires? Another problem could be expecting our needs to be met by people who have no idea how to meet them.
It's complicated. I spent years focusing on myself and trying to achieve my own happiness. When it comes right down to it, focusing on trying to be happy does not bring happiness. Focusing on ourselves does not satisfy - we'll always be disappointed. The times when I actually focused on helping someone else, or just listening to a friend without personal expectations, there was a joy inside of me.
Someone wise once said that we need a goal that is bigger than ourselves. I believe that to be true. When I only focus on me, it gets rather boring. We've all spent time with people who are self-centred - it doesn't take long to realize that it's not that enjoyable! We usually try to avoid them.
I think about my friends and family members who are really interested in me - they listen when I talk - they ask more questions. They sincerely care about me. I love being around them because of how they make me feel. I feel cared for and special.
That is the kind of person I want to be. Someone who is truly interested in what others are saying. Someone who doesn't have to chime in with a story about me! Someone who asks questions. Someone who sincerely cares about the other person. Someone who makes others feel cared for and special. Someone who thinks "It's not about me!" That's the kind of person I want to be. I don't really want to focus on what I want - I want to focus on what others want and need and try to help them. In doing that, my own needs will be met and I will be happy and content - filled with joy! What could be better than that?
Any thoughts?
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